Monday, January 08, 2007

Careful wishes

Having recently arrived back in Fortunaville, I'm turning around and going back to New York for a wedding this weekend. A high school friend, L., is getting married for the second time. I was telling another, single, friend about this, and she lamented that she'd never done it once, when other people were on their second time around—which seemed an odd point of envy. Especially in this case. L. really had a terrible time with her first husband. It was like being tethered to a horse that's out of control. He was an alcoholic, and wildly unstable. But she thought she could smooth him out, and kept trying. And trying. Her life has been about fifty times calmer since she's taken up with the new fellow. Cut the number of late-night emergency room visits rather dramatically.

The ex had been in a band when they were in college. He'd been in a band, and was really hot, and had lots of girlfriends, and she used to pine for him, attending all his shows. She actively plotted to win him, and succeeded. And then loved him so much she couldn't separate from him when everything went awry.

I was thinking about the whole story of L.'s romantic life, remembering that there is a woman from our high school who writes lots of books and articles about dating, who happened to mention in one of her pieces that she dated a pretty half-Asian swimmer when she was a junior or senior (after we'd left the school). She said that he was very dark and brooding and unreachable, having been embittered by his experience with his first girlfriend, who was older than he was, and who cheated on him and broke his heart. That first girlfriend being L.

Update: Related.

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